And Baby Makes Nine?

I became a mother for the first time at 25. Billy and I married at 23, and thirty seconds later, kind strangers at the grocery store began asking when we planned to start our family. I thought things would be different after I married Gabe. We were well into our thirties, with three children each. [...]

By | 2017-10-03T09:55:49+00:00 October 3rd, 2017|Coparenting, Our Life Together, Stepparenting|

Five Secrets No One Tells The New Stepmom

I've seen the Disney movies. I know stepparenting isn't an easy gig. But after taking the plunge and marrying Gabe, I was still shocked to come up sputtering for air and flailing wildly. In what seemed like seconds, I was drowning. My first months and years as a stepmom were nothing like I imagined. I felt [...]

By | 2017-09-27T09:24:35+00:00 September 27th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

What I Remember When I Have Nothing to Say

Some days I have nothing to say. Some days I am so far from my bliss, I can't see beyond the 257 mismatched socks piled and multiplying on the dryer. Some days I wonder what I was thinking when I said yes to all of this. I never imagined this complicated, swirling, noisy life. I [...]

By | 2017-08-04T11:48:38+00:00 August 4th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

What I Wish I’d Known About This Blended Family Life

Remember when you brought your first baby home and you were totally overwhelmed and sure you were doing it wrong? Remember when all of a sudden your closest friends started to tell you their stories? Remember how much better you felt when you heard they didn't love their needy bundles of weepy joy instantly either, [...]

By | 2017-07-25T13:16:44+00:00 July 25th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

How I REALLY Feel About My Kids’ Stepmom

I am pretty vocal about the positive coparenting relationship I have with my children's father. While we didn't initially see eye to eye, and our divorce was painful, we are now comfortable partners. We text frequently, chat at exchanges, and are happy to sit next to each other at the 642 kid events happening every [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:33:44+00:00 July 21st, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

Broken and Beautiful

The accident was barely worth talking about. I'd taken the trash out one night, early in the summer I turned twelve. I  hummed and bounced the bag against my knee. When I came back into the house, my mother gasped in horror. I looked down and saw my leg soaked in blood. A broken glass [...]

By | 2017-07-18T15:28:03+00:00 July 18th, 2017|Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

On Amelia Earhart and Narcissists and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I've been thinking about Ameila Earhart lately.  Better said, I've been thinking about the story of Amelia Earhart lately. The story of this powerhouse record-holder has captivated me for years; I read her biographies, admired her moxie, and toyed with naming my daughter Amelia as a constant reminder that she could chart her own path. [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:35:46+00:00 July 7th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

A Love Letter to All Stepdads (and Especially My Husband)

I see you, you know. I see you watching my sixteen year-old son, waiting for the right time to offer your help. He's at our kitchen table, hands woven through his curly hair, struggling with an advanced math problem that would be easy for you. I see you carefully weighing the value of that help with [...]

The Secrets I Keep and The Battle I’m Fighting

It happened again recently. A woman approached me after hearing me speak and said, "I know my situation is much worse than yours was, but..." She went on to describe a situation that closely mirrored one Gabe and I faced last year.  This well-intentioned woman assumed that because I hadn't addressed that specific issue in the [...]

Our Top Five Blended Family House Rules

When we first decided to marry, blending our two families of four into our tribe of eight, we read every book possible. Each of them recommended we establish house rules as a couple, sit down around a table for a family meeting to share the rules, and ride off happily into the sunset. We didn't do [...]