We’re happy to share things we’ve tried that worked well, or even sort of well. We’re not mental health experts or counselors, our experience is gained personally from blending our large family.

We Tossed Our Shared Custody Schedule Out. Here’s What Happened Next.

Our summer schedule was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas. My children's father, Billy, took a three week trip to Europe. Our son Simon was away for six weeks working as a camp counselor. Our son Caden left home for the first time to attend a three-week Zoology sleep away camp in another state. We started the summer [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:24:34+00:00 August 15th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

How to Coparent After Betrayal and Heartbreak

Dear Kate, My husband of 11 years left me for a coworker while I was pregnant.   I have very traditional views in terms of family and divorce, so I've been reading and receiving professional help to try and get through this time. I've been told to let it go. I'm nervous that if I do [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:26:29+00:00 August 8th, 2017|Ask Kate, Coparenting, Divorce|

How I Learned to Coparent Alone

The word coparenting is a lie, really. Coparenting is generally defined as a parenting situation where two or more adults work together to raise a child even though they are not necessarily the biological parents, living together or in a romantic relationship. This implies a kind of rosy glow over the group and kindly includes [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:30:51+00:00 July 31st, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

A Love Letter to All Stepdads (and Especially My Husband)

I see you, you know. I see you watching my sixteen year-old son, waiting for the right time to offer your help. He's at our kitchen table, hands woven through his curly hair, struggling with an advanced math problem that would be easy for you. I see you carefully weighing the value of that help with [...]

The Secrets I Keep and The Battle I’m Fighting

It happened again recently. A woman approached me after hearing me speak and said, "I know my situation is much worse than yours was, but..." She went on to describe a situation that closely mirrored one Gabe and I faced last year.  This well-intentioned woman assumed that because I hadn't addressed that specific issue in the [...]

Our Top Five Blended Family House Rules

When we first decided to marry, blending our two families of four into our tribe of eight, we read every book possible. Each of them recommended we establish house rules as a couple, sit down around a table for a family meeting to share the rules, and ride off happily into the sunset. We didn't do [...]

How Changing My Headline Changed My Life

I was furious. Billy and I had just had a particularly tense custody exchange and while we didn't talk much, he'd managed to push every single one of my buttons. Every look, every sideline glance, every loud "your mother..." spoken to the kids landed just as it was intended, and I lost my cool. I [...]

How I Survive The Stepfamily Spiral

I love our life. I love gathering noisily around our dinner table and piling on our couch shouting at the television and running around town together. This is where I am meant to be and I want to be present and enjoy each moment for the gift that it is. And yet... Sometimes all of this [...]

By | 2017-06-13T15:42:33+00:00 May 5th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Our Life Together, Stepparenting|

How (and Where!) to Start The Search for Divorced Parent and Blended Family Resources

Like many of you, I struggled to find the support I needed as a divorced mom. The parenting websites and books I'd frequented before my separation seemed not to apply now that my home was "broken," and the shelves of books in bookstores seemed to focus on me as a survivor or victim rather than a parent. [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:52:19+00:00 May 2nd, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

Ready to Give Up on The Whole Dang Thing? Hang On and Try This

Last week, I worked late into the night, letting my thoughts drift to all the unorganized cobwebby corners of my mind as I typed. I decided to cut my hair short. I decided to quit blogging. I also decided to buy a new washing machine, talk to my ex about updating our child support calculation [...]