This is how we manage our large blended family. Find tips, tricks, and things we’ve tried that didn’t work here. No promises that these tips and tricks will work for you, just another voice in the stepfamily trenches on what’s worked before.

We Tossed Our Shared Custody Schedule Out. Here’s What Happened Next.

Our summer schedule was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas. My children's father, Billy, took a three week trip to Europe. Our son Simon was away for six weeks working as a camp counselor. Our son Caden left home for the first time to attend a three-week Zoology sleep away camp in another state. We started the summer [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:24:34+00:00 August 15th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

25 Things You Don’t Know About Me

My good friend and terrific stepmom blogger Jamie Scrimgeour shared her list earlier this week and I thought it was such fun to read I just had to make my own. If you don't know Jamie yet, please do yourself a favor and check out her blog. Her candid style and positive approach make her blog [...]

By | 2017-08-11T15:01:02+00:00 August 11th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Life Together|

How to Coparent After Betrayal and Heartbreak

Dear Kate, My husband of 11 years left me for a coworker while I was pregnant.   I have very traditional views in terms of family and divorce, so I've been reading and receiving professional help to try and get through this time. I've been told to let it go. I'm nervous that if I do [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:26:29+00:00 August 8th, 2017|Ask Kate, Coparenting, Divorce|

How I Learned to Coparent Alone

The word coparenting is a lie, really. Coparenting is generally defined as a parenting situation where two or more adults work together to raise a child even though they are not necessarily the biological parents, living together or in a romantic relationship. This implies a kind of rosy glow over the group and kindly includes [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:30:51+00:00 July 31st, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

We’re Still in the Messy Middle and Yes, We’re Just Fine

We're settling into a booth with old friends visiting from out-of-town, happy for a night out that we've been putting off way too long, and happy for the chance to catch up with two people we love who know the good, bad, and ugly of us. "How are you?" she asks, in the way that [...]

By | 2017-07-11T12:51:10+00:00 July 11th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Life Together, Our Story|

How I Became a Blended Family Star-Seeker

I'm standing on our front walk,  shivering in the night air, dressed only in my nightie. I'm waiting for the dog to say his final goodnight to the yard, a process that involves sniffing every bush and marking his property repeatedly. Like most things with dogs and small children and the elderly, the ritual takes [...]

By | 2017-06-26T14:30:58+00:00 June 26th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Life Together, Our Story|

A Love Letter to All Stepdads (and Especially My Husband)

I see you, you know. I see you watching my sixteen year-old son, waiting for the right time to offer your help. He's at our kitchen table, hands woven through his curly hair, struggling with an advanced math problem that would be easy for you. I see you carefully weighing the value of that help with [...]

How We Survive Summer With Six Kids (in 5 Easy Steps)

It's coming. The children are gleefully counting down the days and parents everywhere are white-knuckle bracing for the same. Summer is almost here. With six children in our busy household, summers are epic. Epic for the children in that they involve long lazy afternoons at the lake, firefly chasing in the evenings and endless dripping popsicles. Epic [...]

The Secrets I Keep and The Battle I’m Fighting

It happened again recently. A woman approached me after hearing me speak and said, "I know my situation is much worse than yours was, but..." She went on to describe a situation that closely mirrored one Gabe and I faced last year.  This well-intentioned woman assumed that because I hadn't addressed that specific issue in the [...]

Our Top Five Blended Family House Rules

When we first decided to marry, blending our two families of four into our tribe of eight, we read every book possible. Each of them recommended we establish house rules as a couple, sit down around a table for a family meeting to share the rules, and ride off happily into the sunset. We didn't do [...]