25 Things You Don’t Know About Me

My good friend and terrific stepmom blogger Jamie Scrimgeour shared her list earlier this week and I thought it was such fun to read I just had to make my own. If you don't know Jamie yet, please do yourself a favor and check out her blog. Her candid style and positive approach make her blog [...]

By | 2017-08-11T15:01:02+00:00 August 11th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Life Together|

What I Remember When I Have Nothing to Say

Some days I have nothing to say. Some days I am so far from my bliss, I can't see beyond the 257 mismatched socks piled and multiplying on the dryer. Some days I wonder what I was thinking when I said yes to all of this. I never imagined this complicated, swirling, noisy life. I [...]

By | 2017-08-04T11:48:38+00:00 August 4th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

Broken and Beautiful

The accident was barely worth talking about. I'd taken the trash out one night, early in the summer I turned twelve. I  hummed and bounced the bag against my knee. When I came back into the house, my mother gasped in horror. I looked down and saw my leg soaked in blood. A broken glass [...]

By | 2017-07-18T15:28:03+00:00 July 18th, 2017|Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

On Amelia Earhart and Narcissists and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I've been thinking about Ameila Earhart lately.  Better said, I've been thinking about the story of Amelia Earhart lately. The story of this powerhouse record-holder has captivated me for years; I read her biographies, admired her moxie, and toyed with naming my daughter Amelia as a constant reminder that she could chart her own path. [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:35:46+00:00 July 7th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

What I Learned When I Gave Up the Mom Hustle

Sometimes the music started in the shower. Da da da da da badumpadum, da da da da da...that 70's tune often worked its way into my head before I was fully awake.  to me. "Do it," it whispered, and I paid close attention. The Hustle was real. Email the teacher, make a meal plan, finish the client [...]

By | 2017-07-05T09:07:21+00:00 July 5th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Story|

How I Became a Blended Family Star-Seeker

I'm standing on our front walk,  shivering in the night air, dressed only in my nightie. I'm waiting for the dog to say his final goodnight to the yard, a process that involves sniffing every bush and marking his property repeatedly. Like most things with dogs and small children and the elderly, the ritual takes [...]

By | 2017-06-26T14:30:58+00:00 June 26th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Life Together, Our Story|

What You Learn When You Can’t Go Home Again

The hot pavement blisters my feet the instant I step out of the car. I always kick my sandals off about an hour into the long ride, and in my hurry to get into the house, often leave them forgotten on the floorboards. The children stream out of the car, noisy and excited, running in and around [...]

By | 2017-06-15T09:36:52+00:00 June 15th, 2017|Divorce, Other Musings, Our Story|

A Love Letter to All Stepdads (and Especially My Husband)

I see you, you know. I see you watching my sixteen year-old son, waiting for the right time to offer your help. He's at our kitchen table, hands woven through his curly hair, struggling with an advanced math problem that would be easy for you. I see you carefully weighing the value of that help with [...]

To The Woman Who Called Me Sanctimonious and Lustful: Thank You (Yes, Really)

Last week, I finished a client session, returned to my desk and found this letter waiting in my inbox. "Dear Kate, You may love your kids more than you hate your ex, but please, do not allow yourself to be sanctimonious about it. Some people divorce because their spouse becomes physically abusive to them or [...]

By | 2017-06-04T12:30:09+00:00 June 2nd, 2017|Other Musings|

The Secrets I Keep and The Battle I’m Fighting

It happened again recently. A woman approached me after hearing me speak and said, "I know my situation is much worse than yours was, but..." She went on to describe a situation that closely mirrored one Gabe and I faced last year.  This well-intentioned woman assumed that because I hadn't addressed that specific issue in the [...]