I Gave Up On Coparenting, Until I Realized This

I grew up believing that I could do and be anything I wanted. Not in a dessert-before-dinner-stay-up-past-midnight way, but in a you-control-your-destiny way. My parents raised the three of us grounded in the understanding that we could achieve any goal we worked toward. They actively encouraged our possibilities: like dissecting the frog in Biology? Perhaps [...]

By | 2017-08-18T10:33:51+00:00 August 18th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce|

We Tossed Our Shared Custody Schedule Out. Here’s What Happened Next.

Our summer schedule was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas. My children's father, Billy, took a three week trip to Europe. Our son Simon was away for six weeks working as a camp counselor. Our son Caden left home for the first time to attend a three-week Zoology sleep away camp in another state. We started the summer [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:24:34+00:00 August 15th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

How to Coparent After Betrayal and Heartbreak

Dear Kate, My husband of 11 years left me for a coworker while I was pregnant.   I have very traditional views in terms of family and divorce, so I've been reading and receiving professional help to try and get through this time. I've been told to let it go. I'm nervous that if I do [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:26:29+00:00 August 8th, 2017|Ask Kate, Coparenting, Divorce|

What I Remember When I Have Nothing to Say

Some days I have nothing to say. Some days I am so far from my bliss, I can't see beyond the 257 mismatched socks piled and multiplying on the dryer. Some days I wonder what I was thinking when I said yes to all of this. I never imagined this complicated, swirling, noisy life. I [...]

By | 2017-08-04T11:48:38+00:00 August 4th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

How I Learned to Coparent Alone

The word coparenting is a lie, really. Coparenting is generally defined as a parenting situation where two or more adults work together to raise a child even though they are not necessarily the biological parents, living together or in a romantic relationship. This implies a kind of rosy glow over the group and kindly includes [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:30:51+00:00 July 31st, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

What I Wish I’d Known About This Blended Family Life

Remember when you brought your first baby home and you were totally overwhelmed and sure you were doing it wrong? Remember when all of a sudden your closest friends started to tell you their stories? Remember how much better you felt when you heard they didn't love their needy bundles of weepy joy instantly either, [...]

By | 2017-07-25T13:16:44+00:00 July 25th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

How I REALLY Feel About My Kids’ Stepmom

I am pretty vocal about the positive coparenting relationship I have with my children's father. While we didn't initially see eye to eye, and our divorce was painful, we are now comfortable partners. We text frequently, chat at exchanges, and are happy to sit next to each other at the 642 kid events happening every [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:33:44+00:00 July 21st, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

Broken and Beautiful

The accident was barely worth talking about. I'd taken the trash out one night, early in the summer I turned twelve. I  hummed and bounced the bag against my knee. When I came back into the house, my mother gasped in horror. I looked down and saw my leg soaked in blood. A broken glass [...]

By | 2017-07-18T15:28:03+00:00 July 18th, 2017|Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|

We’re Still in the Messy Middle and Yes, We’re Just Fine

We're settling into a booth with old friends visiting from out-of-town, happy for a night out that we've been putting off way too long, and happy for the chance to catch up with two people we love who know the good, bad, and ugly of us. "How are you?" she asks, in the way that [...]

By | 2017-07-11T12:51:10+00:00 July 11th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Life Together, Our Story|

On Amelia Earhart and Narcissists and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I've been thinking about Ameila Earhart lately.  Better said, I've been thinking about the story of Amelia Earhart lately. The story of this powerhouse record-holder has captivated me for years; I read her biographies, admired her moxie, and toyed with naming my daughter Amelia as a constant reminder that she could chart her own path. [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:35:46+00:00 July 7th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|