Here’s how I think about parenting after divorce, and all the sticky messy goodness that comes with it.

And Baby Makes Nine?

I became a mother for the first time at 25. Billy and I married at 23, and thirty seconds later, kind strangers at the grocery store began asking when we planned to start our family. I thought things would be different after I married Gabe. We were well into our thirties, with three children each. [...]

By | 2017-10-03T09:55:49+00:00 October 3rd, 2017|Coparenting, Our Life Together, Stepparenting|

Five Secrets No One Tells The New Stepmom

I've seen the Disney movies. I know stepparenting isn't an easy gig. But after taking the plunge and marrying Gabe, I was still shocked to come up sputtering for air and flailing wildly. In what seemed like seconds, I was drowning. My first months and years as a stepmom were nothing like I imagined. I felt [...]

By | 2017-09-27T09:24:35+00:00 September 27th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

Our Five Rules of Fight Club

I often describe my relationship with my husband only to find myself fighting off a swarm of bees. I love that man like crazycakes, and when I write about our love story, my words often drip with sticky sweet sentiment. And that is true and genuine and an accurate reflection of how I feel about [...]

By | 2017-09-15T08:01:15+00:00 September 15th, 2017|Coparenting, Our Life Together, Routines and Organization|

Yes, Sometimes I DO Want to Run Away. Here’s What I Do Next.

Yesterday, during that witching hour between dinner and bedtime, I walked out the back door and into our yard. I sat in an old faded plastic lawn chair, stared out into our too-long grass littered with foam arrows and bubble wands and wet sidewalk chalk, and thought about running away. I thought about what would [...]

By | 2017-09-05T20:12:05+00:00 September 5th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings|

What My Daughter’s Birthday Party Taught Me About Mistakes

Lottie birthday party is in two weeks. You likely already know that; unless you're reading this from the frozen tundra of Antarctica or the secluded Savannah of southern Africa, because she's probably told you herself. The baggers at our grocery store know. The receptionist at the dentist's office does, too. Turning nine is a big [...]

By | 2017-09-01T09:48:45+00:00 September 1st, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Holidays and Traditions, Our Bunch|

On Happiness and Grief and Babies in the Sand

It was well past midnight when my phone dinged urgently from the nightstand next to me. I debated not checking it: the kids were tucked safely in their beds upstairs and my work rarely requires an immediate response to client issues. I'm not a live organ transplant surgeon, after all. No message I get after [...]

By | 2017-08-24T09:58:23+00:00 August 23rd, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

I Gave Up On Coparenting, Until I Realized This

I grew up believing that I could do and be anything I wanted. Not in a dessert-before-dinner-stay-up-past-midnight way, but in a you-control-your-destiny way. My parents raised the three of us grounded in the understanding that we could achieve any goal we worked toward. They actively encouraged our possibilities: like dissecting the frog in Biology? Perhaps [...]

By | 2017-08-18T10:33:51+00:00 August 18th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce|

We Tossed Our Shared Custody Schedule Out. Here’s What Happened Next.

Our summer schedule was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas. My children's father, Billy, took a three week trip to Europe. Our son Simon was away for six weeks working as a camp counselor. Our son Caden left home for the first time to attend a three-week Zoology sleep away camp in another state. We started the summer [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:24:34+00:00 August 15th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

How to Coparent After Betrayal and Heartbreak

Dear Kate, My husband of 11 years left me for a coworker while I was pregnant.   I have very traditional views in terms of family and divorce, so I've been reading and receiving professional help to try and get through this time. I've been told to let it go. I'm nervous that if I do [...]

By | 2017-08-17T09:26:29+00:00 August 8th, 2017|Ask Kate, Coparenting, Divorce|

What I Remember When I Have Nothing to Say

Some days I have nothing to say. Some days I am so far from my bliss, I can't see beyond the 257 mismatched socks piled and multiplying on the dryer. Some days I wonder what I was thinking when I said yes to all of this. I never imagined this complicated, swirling, noisy life. I [...]

By | 2017-08-04T11:48:38+00:00 August 4th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Other Musings, Stepparenting|