Here’s how I think about parenting after divorce, and all the sticky messy goodness that comes with it.

A Love Letter to All Stepdads (and Especially My Husband)

I see you, you know. I see you watching my sixteen year-old son, waiting for the right time to offer your help. He's at our kitchen table, hands woven through his curly hair, struggling with an advanced math problem that would be easy for you. I see you carefully weighing the value of that help with [...]

10 Things I’ve Learned About Being a Divorced Mom

10. Grief wallops you in the grocery store. You think you're safe in the frozen food aisle, or presenting to a client at work, or chaperoning a field trip with your child, but you're wrong. Grief doesn't care where you are or what you'd prefer to be doing. It arrives on its own schedule, brought on by [...]

By | 2017-06-06T08:25:24+00:00 June 6th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce|

The Secrets I Keep and The Battle I’m Fighting

It happened again recently. A woman approached me after hearing me speak and said, "I know my situation is much worse than yours was, but..." She went on to describe a situation that closely mirrored one Gabe and I faced last year.  This well-intentioned woman assumed that because I hadn't addressed that specific issue in the [...]

How My Father’s Blunder Reminded Me We’re All Beginners

There's a rumor about me swirling in our small town. It's not the first time, of course. As you can imagine, when people realized my second husband is a man I'd known while married to my first, tongues wagged. I was ready for it then, and was comfortable that the people who mattered knew the truth and [...]

By | 2017-06-13T15:42:32+00:00 May 19th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Life Together, Stepparenting|

How Changing My Headline Changed My Life

I was furious. Billy and I had just had a particularly tense custody exchange and while we didn't talk much, he'd managed to push every single one of my buttons. Every look, every sideline glance, every loud "your mother..." spoken to the kids landed just as it was intended, and I lost my cool. I [...]

This Divorced Mom’s Biggest Mistake

For a minute, I didn't understand what she said. The words just hung in the air, jumbled and meaningless. "I want to stay at Daddy's. I don't want to be here tonight." I couldn't quite catch my breath. My six year-old daughter Lottie sat watching me absorb what she'd just said. A lone tear escaped the [...]

By | 2017-05-10T08:24:44+00:00 May 9th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Bunch|

How (and Where!) to Start The Search for Divorced Parent and Blended Family Resources

Like many of you, I struggled to find the support I needed as a divorced mom. The parenting websites and books I'd frequented before my separation seemed not to apply now that my home was "broken," and the shelves of books in bookstores seemed to focus on me as a survivor or victim rather than a parent. [...]

By | 2017-06-13T15:42:33+00:00 May 2nd, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce, Stepparenting|

Ready to Give Up on The Whole Dang Thing? Hang On and Try This

Last week, I worked late into the night, letting my thoughts drift to all the unorganized cobwebby corners of my mind as I typed. I decided to cut my hair short. I decided to quit blogging. I also decided to buy a new washing machine, talk to my ex about updating our child support calculation [...]

Four Sure-Fire Ways to Sabatoge Your Coparenting Relationship

My children's father and I have a strong coparenting relationship, but it wasn't always that way. In the years since our divorce, we've survived months of not speaking and our share of tense custody exchanges and text battles. Even at our lowest point, I didn't speak poorly of Billy to the children and we didn't [...]

By | 2017-04-26T16:13:05+00:00 April 18th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce|

Ten Reasons This Divorced Mom is Glad It’s Dad’s Weekend

I am a divorced mom and I share custody of our three children with their dad. I write often about the sadder side of shared custody: transitions, feeling like a part-time parent, and managing grief. Today though, I am focusing on the part of shared custody divorced parents don't talk about: the I'm-happy-to-say-goodbye-this-weekend part. Why [...]