How Listening To My Husband Ended My Marriage

I stood in the doorway to our family room after settling the kids in bed and said to Billy,  “have a minute?” I was anxious, although I hadn’t told him.  Friends of ours were divorcing after 14 years and the end of their marriage had started me thinking about ours. I am not even sure [...]

By | 2017-02-26T22:23:13+00:00 January 31st, 2017|Divorce|

The Stuff We Can’t Figure Out (Yet)

The other day I met a friend for lunch and spent the meal venting about a challenge I was facing.  I was frustrated and overwhelmed and feeling like no matter how I approached the challenge, I just couldn't seem to overcome it. "I'm just no good at this," I told her. "Yet," she replied. "I'm [...]

By | 2017-09-06T08:27:20+00:00 January 27th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Our Life Together, Our Story, Stepparenting|

Help! His Parents Don’t Include My Children

Dear Kate, I am a divorced mom of two young girls.  I remarried two years ago, to a terrific man who had not been married before.  My husband adores my daughters and treats them as his own.   The problem is his parents, my new in-laws, do not.  While they are supportive of our relationship, [...]

By | 2017-09-18T10:58:41+00:00 January 25th, 2017|Ask Kate, Blended Family Tips, Divorce, Stepparenting|

How Our Divorce Changed My Ex For The Better

Billy became a totally different person after our divorce The change in him wasn't obvious. He didn't take up golf or beat-boxing.   He didn't start running or become a gourmet chef. Billy's transformation existed solely in my mind. Our divorce left me shattered.  I'd loved Billy for decades, and we had enormous shared history. [...]

By | 2017-08-17T10:21:12+00:00 January 23rd, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Story|

That Time We Forgot All About Our Good Intentions

We're going to need a do-over. We started January with the best of intentions. Drunk off cookies and chocolate milk and those delicious mini hot dogs in puff pastry, we were going to return to eating fruits and veggies and lean proteins. We were going to return to bedtime routines and getting plenty of rest. [...]

By | 2017-01-19T11:19:41+00:00 January 19th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Bunch, Our Story|

What Our Bird-Nesting Custody Plan Taught Us

The week after Billy and I told the children we were divorcing, we both moved out.  Or neither of us did, depending on your perspective. For the first several months of our separation, Billy and I cared for our sweeties in a custody arrangement called bird-nesting.  From the start, we both committed to putting the [...]

By | 2017-05-12T08:56:00+00:00 January 17th, 2017|Coparenting, Divorce, Our Story|

Love is a Battlefield: 5 Wars I’m Waging With My Husband

Gabe and I are in love. We snuggle sleepily in bed in the mornings, text sweet nothings to each other during the workday, and slow dance in our kitchen at night after the kids are in bed.  We think similarly and are on the same side of many of the issues that plague partnerships: how we [...]

By | 2017-01-12T23:17:18+00:00 January 13th, 2017|Other Musings, Our Love Story, Our Story|

What to Do When You Really REALLY Hate His Ex

Dear Kate, What do you do when you really, REALLY dislike your partner's ex and mother of his child? It is so hard to sit back and watch the abusive texts and downright hateful and unreasonable behavior towards someone I love and know is a really good dad. It creates a lot of interference and [...]

By | 2017-06-13T15:47:17+00:00 January 11th, 2017|Ask Kate, Blended Family Tips, Stepparenting|

Love Your Kid More than You Hate Your Ex?

"Mom, are most divorced people like you and Dad, or do they usually hate each other?" My son Caden and I are driving to a movie, just the two of us. Somehow, the other five children in our family are otherwise occupied, and we've ended up alone on a rare mother-son date. We're both delighted [...]

By | 2017-08-17T10:23:24+00:00 January 9th, 2017|Blended Family Tips, Coparenting, Divorce, Our Bunch|

Five Ways to Help a Friend Through Divorce

When Billy and I separated and divorced, I felt entirely alone.  Surprising, given 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce. However, no one we knew had divorced.  I knew of some single parents and blended families, but they existed only on the sidelines of my life. Filled with pain and guilt and overwhelmed by navigating [...]

By | 2017-01-06T10:34:04+00:00 January 6th, 2017|Divorce|